To Build A Home
by itainthardtryin
Summary: Santana goes shopping for Brittany's Valentine's Day card and gets a little bit distracted by life.


The thought of this is equally terrifying and exciting to Santana. It's not as if she's never done it before. She's been buying Brittany gifts and cards since they were old enough to shop for themselves. She remembers when she was nine she saved her $5 a week allowance for over a month because she wanted to be able to buy Brittany something special for her birthday. To a nine year old with $25, the possibilities seem endless. Her mom took her shopping to the mall after school and she picked out a unicorn teddy and a card that even had a badge. She remembers taking extra time to make sure everything she wrote inside it – _'Happy Birthday Britt-Britt! I hope it's extra special, because you're extra special' _- was spelled correctly. She didn't want to mess up. (She didn't.)

This is a whole new ball game though.

It's Saturday afternoon, she's at the mall alone and it's pretty busy. It's full of families with screaming kids and thirteen year olds on skateboards thinking they own the place. It's Santana's idea of Hell. She just wants to get Brittany a card, maybe a present, and get the fuck out of here.

She's not self-conscious about people knowing she has a girlfriend anymore. Why would she want to hide the best thing in her life? She spent enough time doing that before. She's proud of Brittany and she's proud that she's hers, but standing in the aisle, looking at cards that say _'to the one I love'_ or _'to my girlfriend on Valentine's Day'_, Santana feels her stomach start to twist again.

She likes being Brittany's girlfriend; she likes the term. She likes the way it rolls off Brittany's tongue or the way it sounds when someone in Glee club mentions it, even if they're doing it to tease her because she's so whipped. She knows Brittany feels the same way because whenever Santana calls her her girlfriend, Brittany's eyes both light up and soften at the same time and Santana knows that 'in love' doesn't even come close to how they feel.

She runs her fingers over some cards absentmindedly, but she's starting to feel a bit freaked out about buying a card with girlfriend on it. This is official. It's serious. Santana's never done serious before, but then again Santana's never had Brittany before. Not properly anyway.

There's two guys standing beside her and she's pretty sure they're nervous too. They're lifting cards and putting them back, trying to find the one that their girlfriend will like the best, or rather the one that will guarantee them getting laid that night. Santana thinks that they don't get it. She knows how guys work. She knows that they think Valentine's Day is just this holiday where you can buy your girl a teddy and flowers and chocolates and maybe even some (cheap) champagne, and she'll fall for it.

That's so not what it's about for Santana.

She knows they're going to sleep together on Valentine's night. It's a given. They sleep together pretty much every other night anyway, so it's nothing out of the ordinary. Santana wants to focus on everything else though. She wants Brittany to know how much she means to her. She needs to make sure she gets this right. Santana knows Brittany won't really care about the card or the present – she's never been a material person – but _Santana _cares and she just wants to get this right, for her own sake if no-one else's; to prove that she can do this romance thing. She just wants to make sure Brittany knows that she loves her.

She picks up a card that says 'to my girlfriend' on the front, opens it and reads the verse inside: _'Life would be just perfect and dreams would all come true, if everyone could love someone the way that I love you.'_ She almost laughs at how cheesy it is. True, yes; but cheesy. She puts it back.

She lifts five or six more, putting them back again when the words inside make her cringe, internally judging the person who thought that anyone would actually like these stupid verses. Brittany deserves better than a crappy, generic rhyme in a Hallmark card. That's why Santana chooses a blank one.

There's only three to choose from – apparently people in Lima don't really do the whole 'write your own greeting' thing much for Valentine's Day. She's trying to decide which one to get when the card next to it catches her eye. _'To my wife'_.

Her mind goes a mile a minute and suddenly she's looking around the shop in a mild panic. Other cards start to catch her eye. _'It's a boy!', 'Daughter, you're five today!', 'To my wife on our anniversary'_. She sees photo frames that say _'With this ring, I thee wed'_ or _'A dog is for life'_ and she's overwhelmed with all these emotions. Suddenly, the card in her hand doesn't seem as heavy as before. Santana's wondering if, no – _when – _she'll be able to buy Brittany a card that says 'wife' on it. Her mouth goes dry at the thought and she lets out a little disbelieving laugh, as if she still can't believe that this is her reality now and not her dream.

She walks toward the back of the shop to the photo frames that had caught her eye before. Really, if you'd have told her six months ago that she'd be standing there getting emotional over a photo frame that says 'A dog is for life' she'd probably have laughed you down before slapping you senseless. Right now though, the only problem she sees with the whole scenario of Brittany as her wife, and with them having children together and a dog and everything that family entails, is that she knows Brittany is a cat person.

Images of their future and the realisation that it's going to happen are soon the only things on her mind. She's walking about looking at all the occasions they can celebrate together – _Congratulations on your new job! _– and all the ones they're going to have to support each other through – _I'm sorry for your loss._ When she reaches the miscellaneous section she picks out a thank you card that's also blank inside. She thinks that she has some people to thank for her getting to this point in the first place.

That's when she has an idea.

She picks up another thank you card. It's from the top shelf, so it's a bit fancier than the other one. It's handmade, finished with intricate detail. She puts the Valentine's Day card she previously picked out for Brittany back. She thinks that this is much more appropriate. If she knows Brittany at all, then this is the right thing to do.

In her head she already has a list of things to thank Brittany for, so this is easy. The only thing Santana's worried about is not having enough room to write everything; but maybe that's what forever is for. So you don't have to write it all down at once.

Santana pays the cashier for the cards and leaves to go home, her brain on overdrive wondering how to narrow everything down and how to decide what's worthy enough to make the cut.

She doesn't even turn the radio on in her car on the drive home; she just thinks. She talks to herself out loud from time to time, trying to get the wording right. Her list is numbered. It starts at one (thank you for loving me), but she doesn't really know where it's going to end. When she gets to number forty-two (thank you for having a hand that fits perfectly in my own), she decides that's probably enough to fill the inside of the card. Maybe even the back cover too… and a little of the envelope.

When she gets home, she makes her way to her bedroom and clears a space on her desk. The smaller thank you card gets written first.

_I'm not really great with words but I just wanted to thank you guys for being there for me recently. Things haven't been easy, and you've helped me get through. Thank you for accepting me…for accepting us. I'm sorry I hid from you all for so long, I should have trusted you. _

_Just… thanks for everything._

Santana knows they'll understand how big of a deal this whole thing has been for her if she's actually buying them a card and being nice in it. That's one of the perks of being a bitch. When you're nice it catches people off guard. It shocks them and they don't expect it, but they know that you mean every word.

She puts the card in the envelope and seals it. She leaves the front blank because she doesn't really know who to address it to. (She'll give it to Quinn in the end to read to everyone else).

When she reaches to take out the second card – Brittany's card – she realises that she's being more cautious. She's careful not to get any dirt on it or any blotches of ink.

She chooses a different pen too, one with purple ink. With the card open in front of her, she brings the pen within millimetres of the page before stopping and taking out a blank sheet from her notebook. She writes down all of the reasons there first, taking extra care to make sure everything is spelled correctly.

She doesn't want to mess this up.

(She doesn't.)


End file.
